The older I get, the more I realize that I'm just not a nice person. Some might say I'm straightforward. Others might call me abrasive. Most people who know me well just call me a bitch.
It's not that I can't be tactful or carry on with social niceties. I can, and I have. I just don't care for it. Being "nice" all the time is exhausting. Because being nice these days doesn't involve just being a likable person. Being nice has since devolved into simply being non-offensive or politically correct.
Seems like it doesn't matter these days if you lie your face off, or if you never say anything substantial, as long as you don't hurt anyone's feelings. To all of you who fall into this category and try to be non-offensive all the time, I just want you to know, having a conversation with you is absolutely maddening.
There once was a time -- not that long ago, really -- when honesty and straightforwardness were commendable qualities. Nowadays, they make you an asshole. Too many people end up getting their feelings hurt. But I say, if you don't want my opinion, don't ask. (Yes, I've learned the value of keeping my mouth shut.)
Here's the thing. I really don't care much anymore if people think I'm nice. It's not that I'm deliberately mean to people (well, not unless you deserve it). I'm just honest and I don't like to sugar-coat things. I'd rather just say what I think instead of dancing around a topic, worrying about whether what I say will offend someone. And I know there are plenty of people out there like me, but sometimes I suspect I'm part of a dying breed.
My approach to conversation doesn't always make people feel good. It doesn't always make me friends. But the friends I have made will always know where I stand.
So true, Jen! You know yourself very well!
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